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What You Allow


I’m in a bunch of Facebook groups and I have read so many posts about boyfriends/husband’s that do things that these women do not agree with – it breaks their spirits, it ruins their self esteem and it makes them question how their partners really feel about them. These posts were about their partner looking at porn, receiving naked pictures of other women and/or their partners getting on social networking sites either liking a bunch of random (half naked) women’s pictures on their accounts. I was completely shocked by all the other women in these groups that either justify many of these actions by saying things like “all men do it” or “boys will be boys.” Some women even said things along the line of “I don’t like that my man does it but I have gotten use to it.” There were also the ones that said “I wouldn’t be mad” and some that were completely okay with it. There were many that did not feel it was okay nor would they be with someone who did. Here is my personal opinion on it and rather you agree or not…that’s on you. If you believe all men do it then you are giving anyone you are with an excuse to do it because you expect nothing more than that. What you allow, you will get and it will continue. Maybe I just have an absolutely amazing man that respects me enough to not do what apparently so many women find “acceptable.” I will say, I am blessed with the most perfect man a woman could have and not just because he respects me but because of all the other top notch things he does for me and my children. I guess I am just sad for all the woman that believe the lie that all men do the same things or disrespect their girlfriends/wives. Believe me girls, all men don’t do that and I am sorry that your mind has some how been programmed to believe that they do based on what has happened in your current and past relationships. Don’t compare every man to every man that you have had. All women (and men) deserve respect. I am here to tell you that stereotyping a gender and saying “they are all the same” or that “they all do it” is so wrong and taking credit from all the wonder men/women that are not like that. You can argue your side and how it is “normal” because you are allowing it but I’ll straight up tell you that it is not “normal” for all of us women. Many of us have men that love and respect us more than that. Remember, you absolutely DO NOT have to allow or accept anything that you don’t agree with. If you are okay with it, that’s fine. Not all relationships are the same nor do all them have the same lines drawn. This is for the ones that don’t want to deal with it but think they have no other choice. This is for the ones that want better and believe that they absolutely do deserve it. You don’t have to allow porn, cheating or whatever else you feel is unacceptable. Your feelings matter and they should be respected.